But really, people piss me off.

Anonymous said: What's the most illegal thing you ever did?

almanzapedia:

At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.

So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.

SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.

She refused to fix my grade.

In the end, she shit herself on stage.

I didn’t regret it.

Aug 31
stunningpicture:

Me (located in Iceland) and my friend (located in New Zealand) made the biggest sandwich of all time.
Aug 31

stunningpicture:

Me (located in Iceland) and my friend (located in New Zealand) made the biggest sandwich of all time.

(via stability)

"1. Contrary to popular belief, waking up early isn’t going to drastically alter your life or effect how you’re feeling. So sleep till noon and relish in the way laying in bed all day makes you feel a little more human. 2. Drinking your coffee ‘black’ doesn’t make you cooler or more sophisticated than the rest of us who load in milk and sugar. 3. Being unimpressed by everything makes you look like a twat. Get excited, be overly passionate about something. Enthusiasm is fun. 4. Hating yourself isn’t romantic. 5. Eat whatever you want. your friend’s a vegan? Awesome. Listen to her talk about how great she feels because of it while you tuck in to some chocolate cake. Tell her you feel just as great."

- More Reminders- Charlotte Geier  (via bl-ossomed)

(Source: my-h-e-a-r-t-s-not-in-it, via adrenaline)

Aug 31
Aug 31

(Source: eyy4, via astound)

Aug 31

(Source: tastefullyoffensive, via gnarly)

officialunitedstates:

to all my spanish speaking followers:  hola

to all my non-spanish speaking followers who feel left out:  don’t worry, I just said “hello”.  maybe someday you too can grasp another language

(via mal-train)

Aug 31

carryonmywincestson:

INTELLIGENCE IS NOT MEASURED IN YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF MATH

(via feat)

Aug 31
Aug 31

808kangaroo:

taco-bell-rey:

Ke$ha is a perfect example of how the media loves to make intelligent girls seem dumb and bitchy even though they are actually smart and caring. Ke$ha isn’t far from being a feminist icon but the media continues to label her as a dumb drunk party girl.

and Ke$ha is all for loving yourself and equality but she continues to receive harassment from mainstream media. Enough harassment to the point that she developed an eating disorder because of it. She is an example of how horrible and sexist the music industry is.

Ke$ha stands in the category of “gifted genius”, she scored near perfect (1500) on her SAT’s and has an IQ of 140

(via tequila-and-boys)

Aug 31

(Source: riddlemetom, via glassbonespaperskin)

suzysils:

I think I’m going to write a book called “‘Four Hours Is Definitely Enough Sleep’ And Other Lies I Tell Myself”

(via fake-mermaid)

Aug 31
Aug 31

unimportant:

Iconic

(Source: sausagesfordinner, via tequila-and-boys)

tablespoons:

loling-in-the-deep:

imagine if your name was a swear word

motherfucker can you please come down to the office

omg at first i thought u meant like ur name was used as a swear word 

shut the brittany up go chris yourself

(Source: officialswagmom, via guy)

Aug 31
Aug 31

(via tequila-and-boys)

Aug 31

(Source: declass, via tequila-and-boys)

"But I love you so much more than just to the moon and back."

- (via difficult)

(via suspend)

Aug 31